Cowering to Confident

By now we are certain that things will be uncertain. By now we know that something will happen to turn our special day into a harrowing scramble for survival. By now we just go ahead and call it the “date of uncertainty.” Because somehow, the combination of Joe and I going out together is a recipe for some kind of disaster.

Every Mother’s Day and birthday since Joe learned to drive, his gift to me has been a day out for just the two of us. His intentions are simple: Buy a snack and set out to someplace nice and just enjoy the time together.

But now when I receive my card where Joe has written “Date of Uncertainty,” we look at each other and laugh. And there is just a little bit of fear in both of our eyes. For although we are certain that the day will become an adventure, we never know exactly what form it will take. And it is that uncertainty that makes us both excited and nervous to set out together.

There was the time in Vermont when we went to a trout stream to go fly fishing. Although we saw some large trout, they weren’t interested in our flies. And we weren’t interested in waiting for them all day, especially after we spotted a large, deep pool beneath a waterfall. We decided to take a swim. The water was so icy cold that it took all our gumption to get in – screaming! – and then rush back out.

As we headed back to the van, we thought we had done a pretty good job of keeping things low-key, with our only difficulty being the shock of the frigid water. We put towels on the seats and got in, our teeth chattering.

“Can I have the key to the anti-theft device?” Joe asked as he jiggled the long, red bar that we had secured across the steering wheel.

I had suggested that we take the precaution since the parking lot was in a remote area.

“Um . . . what?” I answered, still shivering and thinking only of getting warm and dry.

“Wait – you don’t have a key?”

“Well, no – Dad has the only key . . .”

Joe tried to drive through the parking lot with the device still locked onto the steering wheel. By the looks from the people passing by on the highway, you’d think we were stealing a car or something! But although we could go forward, the long handle of the device made it impossible for Joe to turn the steering wheel enough to make turns on the road. I guess the anti-theft device works . . .

Thankfully, the owner of the campground where we were staying had nothing better to do than drive Paul and the key to where we were stranded.

And then there was the time when we decided to explore a mountain stream in Colorado and follow it to a beautiful, secluded lake. Except that the stream was more of a wild, raging river. Except that we had to cross that river to get to the lake. Except that there were several more lakes and tangly marshes between us and the lake we were actually trying to reach. These were not on the map we carried. We did eventually reach the lake we had planned on visiting, albeit wet, scratched, and exhausted.

Our most recent “date” was no exception.

The plan was to drive up to a mountain pass, take a short hike up the gentle ridge that rose up from the parking lot, and have a nice picnic in the sunshine. Hopefully, we would find some snow patches to glissade down before heading home.

Yes, that was the plan, but when we arrived at the pass, the sky was a thick, gloomy gray, and a few snowflakes were already falling. Joe and I sighed as we put on our warm coats and our rain jackets. At least we were prepared this time. We could still enjoy the day even if we might get a little cold and wet. We started up the ridge, enjoying the beauty of the moody mountains around us in spite of the dreary sky.

When we were almost to the top of the ridge, we heard a rumble of thunder. We looked at each other knowingly. Right on schedule, our idyllic mother-son time was becoming a dangerous expedition.

We had enough experience in the mountains to know that now was the time to turn around. The ridge was no place to be in a thunderstorm. Resignedly, we turned back toward the car and began discussing alternatives for our special day.

Suddenly, and simultaneously, an ear-splitting CRAAAACK!!! and a blinding flash tore the sky right in front of us. I dropped to the ground, completely stunned.

“No! Come on! We’ve got to go!” Joe shouted as he pulled me up.

We both began to run toward the car. My heart was pounding wildly as we raced over rocks and snow and ice. They say not to panic, but it was panic that propelled us down the trail, across the road, and finally to the van. We both threw open the doors and heaved ourselves inside, gasping for breath.

Our eyes were as big as dinner plates as we looked at each other.

“That was close!” we said.

Indeed, it was close. Too close.

After taking a moment to catch our breath, we studied the map to look for a different place to go and then headed further down the road.

As we drove, I trembled thinking about our close call, and I trembled as I thought about the God who made that bolt of lightning. That one streak of electricity made me fall to the ground in stunned terror. And that was just lightning. Just a current of electrons. I couldn’t stand before it.

How then could I stand before the God Who made the lightning? If I was trembling now, how much more so before the perfect, holy God Who requires complete adherence to His law? The law that I have broken over and over again? What a hopeless thing to contemplate! What a reason for despair, anxiety, depression, and agony! What a reason to fill my life with noise – the noise of religious works, of pleasure, of labor and toil – anything to keep my mind from remembering the dreadful day coming when I will have to face God! (Matthew 5:48; Hebrews 9:27; James 2:10).

Yes, these fearful thoughts would have overtaken my mind, were it not for the wonderful, incomprehensible truth of the cross. Without the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, I would be hopelessly and justly damned. But Jesus took my place and paid my debt. He took my sin, so that I could stand before God clothed in His righteousness (Matthew 25:31-46; John 3:36; Romans 6:23; 1 Corinthians 15:1-5; 2 Corinthians 5:21; 1 Peter 3:18).

I will always cower before lightning. But I can face death, whenever that may be, with complete confidence that I will be accepted by God because of the blood of His Son – poured out on the cross for my sin. What an amazing thing to contemplate! What a reason for hope, peace, joy, and purpose! What a reason to fill my life with praise!

As for Joe and I, we found another place to go, and we had a great time. Even though we were pelted with icy snow during our picnic. Even though we had to run through hip-deep snow to find shelter when another storm came through. And even though we had to hide in a public bathroom as wind and hail and thunder and lightning rattled the windows . . . I just wonder – what will the next “date of uncertainty” bring??

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Photos by Jenny Venturo